Whole Lotto Luck

When I walked into the living room this morning, Amanda and Karin were discussing last night’s lottery drawing. Karin looked at me and said, “Someone won the Mega Millions last night.” Then, after a short pause she continued, “It wasn’t us.”

“Well, I sort of figured that," I replied. "You know, since the two of you weren’t convulsing on the floor when I came in.

“We would probably both have heart attacks.”

“More money for me, I guess,” I said dryly. Karin and Amanda began to protest my tasteless comment, but I continued, “Good thing, too; it’d pay for all the therapy I’d need.”

They both gave me a look that indicated my save had only barely cut mustard.

“But then maybe I wouldn’t even want the money,” I ventured. “I might be like Hurley on LOST; completely terrified of it. Might end up all freaking out: ‘Aaaaah! I don’t want the money! It’s bad luck! It killed my wife and daughter!’”

Zach quipped, “Hell, I’d take it.”

There was a claw hammer lying nearby that had yet to be put away from a recent picture-hanging job. I picked it up and pretended to bash Zachary’s head in with it, then turned back to Karin and Panda. “Aaaaah! I don’t want the money! It’s bad luck! It killed my wife and both my kids!”