Pussy-Whipped is an Apt Term (When it Applies)
More often than not, any decisions I make that directly involve Karin will be determined based on how happy I think the decision will make her. Sometimes, this means the end result is quite different than what I personally wanted and at those times the claim could be (and has been) made that because I am so willing to compromise my own happiness for Karin, I must be pussy-whipped.
Now, I know this assessment is grossly inaccurate, but my protestations to that effect aren’t enough to really convince anyone but myself. What I needed was to determine the differentiating factor between a guy who really is pussy-whipped and a man such as myself.
It turns out the answer is actually quite simple. It’s all in one’s motivations. Put simply:
If you do things for your lady in order to keep her from being angry, you’re pussy-whipped.
If you do things for your lady for the purpose of making her happy, you’re not pussy-whipped; you're in love.
It’s an important distinction. We’re not talking about a mere shift in point-of-view, here. Note that the first example above is selfish and the second is selfless. Sort of makes the term “pussy-whipped” seem rather reasonable: the man with his motivations so far out of whack is being emotionally flogged by his disapproving woman for his selfishness*.
Anyway, you guys out there who aren’t sure if your asshole friends are right when they call you whipped, just ask yourself this one question: do you do what you do for her to create a smile or avoid a scowl?
*There are, of course, many detailed scenarios I've purposely left out.
Comments
Who were the bastards who called you pussy-whipped or implied it? and do they have a wife and family who loves them???? I suspect not...
You are SUCH a sweetie, and it hurts my brain to think about the deeper ramifications of this distinction.... I think I'll just LOL some more...
PS, that rainbow sprinkle boogeyman dude is still freaking me out, big time.
No, not recently myself. But I did overhear someone else use the term recently which is what got me to thinking about the definition.
And hey, if other people may notice and comment on What A Guy she has then all the better.
What about guys like that?
Literally.
By the Deej (and Diblet and Edgar and...)
You know you'll do anything to keep those thumb-wielding felines from slicing your jugular.
same for women. If you would do anything for him, but for the wrong reasons, you're a doormat at his feet. (i.e. "so he will love me, at last", for instance)
If you would do anything for him because your greatest happiness is to see him happy, you're his lover and friend. Two dramatically different positions.
Relationships take a lot of work and compromise. It's just very important that we understand the motivations behind our compromises.
I totally agree with you that it's all about what your motivaton is in doing something....just like you talked about in the difference between creating a smile or avoiding a scowl. It's subtle but a very, very important differentiation.
I believe that both spouse's are supposed to serve each other in a relationship......but it should also not be a the continual cost of self, either. Some people are self-less too much and too often and eventually they end up resenting it because they go to too much of an extreme that costs them their "self". I think a man is pussy-whipped or a woman is a doormat...when they do all the giving and never receive anything back. If both sides of a couple serve each other self-lessly, then there is always the action of giving and receiving.....and resentment would be rare to happen because you both contribute to each other and lift each other up.
In my experience, most men who accuse other men of being pussy-whippped.....are usually jealous because they are either single or unhappy in their relationhip....and they can't stand seeing another man happy so they stick the digs of doubt in because their misery wants some company.
Michael: I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex.
Sam Weber: Ah, come on. Nothing's more important than sex.
Michael: Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?
Just a random movie quote. ;-)
Good post, K.